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Writer's pictureRanjani

Gentle Parenting: A Guide to Positive Discipline & Tips for Managing Meltdowns

So what is gentle parenting? It is a parenting philosophy that emphasizes empathy, respect, and non-violence. And let me tell you, it's not just for hippies and tree-huggers anymore!

If you're tired of the traditional authoritarian parenting style, where yelling, spanking, and time-outs are the norm, then gentle parenting might be right up your alley. But how do you become a gentle parent, you ask? Here are some tips:


  1. Practice patience: Gentle parenting requires a lot of patience. You need to be able to take a step back and think about how your actions will affect your child.

  2. Use positive reinforcement: Instead of punishing your child for bad behavior, try rewarding them for good behavior. Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can motivate your child to continue making good choices.

  3. Listen to your child: Communication is key in gentle parenting. Listen to your child and take their feelings into account. This will help build trust and respect between you and your child.

  4. Practice empathy: Put yourself in your child's shoes and try to understand their perspective. This will help you be more compassionate and patient with them.

So how do you discipline kids positively in gentle parenting? The goal of discipline in gentle parenting is to teach your child how to make good choices, not to punish them for bad ones. Here are some examples:

  1. Time-in instead of time-out: Instead of sending your child to their room for a time-out, try having a time-in with them. This means sitting with them and talking about what happened and how they can make better choices in the future.

  2. Natural consequences: Instead of punishing your child for their behavior, let them experience the natural consequences of their actions. For example, if they refuse to wear a jacket outside and get cold, let them feel the discomfort and learn from it.

  3. Use positive language: Instead of saying "no" or "don't," try using positive language. For example, instead of saying "don't run," say "let's walk instead." This can help your child feel empowered and in control.

  4. Collaborate on solutions: Instead of imposing your will on your child, collaborate with them to come up with solutions. For example, if they don't want to go to bed, ask them what would help them feel ready for sleep.


Tantrums are a common occurrence in young children, and they can be frustrating and challenging for parents to handle. In gentle parenting, the goal is to help children manage their emotions and behaviors in a positive way, without resorting to punishment or harsh discipline. Here are some tips on how to tackle tantrums in gentle parenting:

  1. Stay calm: It's important to stay calm and not react emotionally to your child's tantrum. Take a deep breath and try to approach the situation with a level head.

  2. Acknowledge your child's feelings: Let your child know that you understand how they're feeling. For example, you could say, "I can see that you're feeling upset right now."

  3. Validate your child's feelings: It's important to validate your child's feelings and let them know that it's okay to feel the way they do. For example, you could say, "It's okay to feel angry, but we need to find a better way to express our feelings."

  4. Use empathy: Try to see things from your child's perspective and empathize with their feelings. For example, you could say, "I know it's hard when things don't go your way, but we can work together to find a solution."

  5. Offer choices: Give your child some choices that will help them regain control of the situation. For example, you could say, "Would you like to take a few deep breaths or have a hug to help you calm down?"

  6. Redirect your child's attention: Sometimes, distracting your child from the situation can be helpful. You could try suggesting a fun activity or offering a toy or book to distract them.

  7. Teach emotional regulation skills: Over time, help your child develop skills to manage their emotions, such as deep breathing or positive self-talk.

Remember, tantrums are a normal part of child development, and they will eventually decrease in frequency as your child grows older. By responding to tantrums in a gentle and positive way, you can help your child develop the emotional regulation skills they need to thrive. Gentle parenting might not be for everyone, but it's definitely worth considering if you're tired of the traditional authoritarian style. So go forth, be patient, listen, and empathize with your little ones, and who knows, you might just become a gentle parenting guru!

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