How I Made Peace with the Mess and Stopped Yelling About Toys

Ranjani
Aug 14
2 min read

Confession time: I used to believe that a good mom had a spotless home. Toys neatly in bins, books lined up by size, not a magnatile in sight. Reality check? My living room looked like a toy store exploded. And the worst part wasn’t the mess—it was me turning into a frustrated, toy-policing drill sergeant.

“Why are there blocks on the floor again?!”

“Can’t you keep your cars in the basket?”

“Do I have to clean this every single day?”

By bedtime, I wasn’t just tired—I felt guilty for all the yelling. Something had to change.

The Moment I Decided to Let Go

One day, while I was mid-lecture about “putting things away,” my son looked up at me and said,“But Amma, I’m building a city. It’s not done yet.” That stopped me in my tracks. To me, it was mess. To him, it was imagination in progress. That’s when I realized: my obsession with a perfect home was crushing his creativity—and my joy.

What Helped Me Make Peace with the Mess

1. Changing the Goal

Instead of aiming for spotless, I aimed for functional.

Clear walkways so no one trips.
Dishes washed before bed.
Toys in their zones—but not necessarily perfect.

2. Creating “Mess Zones”

I set up spaces where toys could live without stressing me out.

A corner of the living room for building projects.
A big basket for “everything else.”

3. Decluttering Together

We started seasonal “toy swaps” where my son chose what to keep, donate, or store away. It became fun instead of a fight.

4. Reminding Myself What Matters

Mess means life is happening here. It means there’s laughter, pretend play, and tiny moments that won’t come back once the toys are gone.

The Wins Since Letting Go

Less yelling = more connection.
My son feels ownership of his play space.
I’m no longer cleaning the same toy truck 7 times a day.

And here’s the surprising part: the less I stressed about the mess, the more he started tidying on his own.

Do you struggle with toy clutter too? Have you found a way to balance tidiness with creativity? Share your wins (or funny chaos stories) in the comments—I’d love to hear them.